I got up early with a bright light on my chest, I was moving so fast that I poured my tea down my front instead of swallowing it; June had already gone to work with her coat inside of her instead of vice versa - she said hello to a piece of floral carpet which had run away from the house next door. After meeting the tree king in his woodland court I came home with a proto-saint who was in the process of merging with his pet iguana: he already had a reptile head with frills running down his spine. He mentioned in passing that he was hoping to find immortality inside a computer game; I said I didn’t play games but would like to become a landscape - I noticed immediately after that all my fellow passengers were trees: all but one deciduous (I’ve never understood why conifers went out of fashion).
Gerald's Rather Strange Diary 