My Diary: Feeling Helpless Like King Canute’s Chair

I had to climb out of the picture earlier than planned‭; ‬leaving June still inside and resting on a log‭ (‬until it dramatically changed into Saint Anthony and the surrounding vegetation‭ ‬into‭ ‬young women with reptile scales‭)‬.‭ ‬Looking at a circle above his head I wondered if everything eventually returns to where it started out.‭ ‬I later mentioned this to June when we stood like unhammered in nails as the carpenter’s plane removed the last slither of wood from the plank‭ ‬-‭ ‬I am not sure if even he knew what he was making.‭ ‬June and I stayed in the same shell all day even though outside the others had exchanged seas.‭ ‬I sat in an art chair painting tables and she laid on a rock listening to the song of the sirens as an empty ship sailed by with absolutely no one tied to the mast.

My Diary: A Picture Of Me Conversing With Athena

I got up holding the hand that had emerged, ‬fully grown and armed, from my forehead during the night:.‭  ‬I let it go when the dog frightened the cats cradle and an imaginary spiral staircase walked down our stairs from the first floor‭ (‬I call our bedroom the belfry‭)‬.‭ ‬As June was part of an artfully arranged still life I left the house alone and walked across the bog person ground using open hands as stepping stones‭ ‬-‭ ‬I got across before they came together to clap.‭ ‬I returned in the arms of a diurnal bat,‭ ‬with wine glass epaulettes and car exhaust hat.‭ ‬June was clinging to the scaffolding surrounding the Statue of Liberty when it started to move‭ ‬-‭ ‬at first measuring its footsteps in both metric and imperial and then walking off into the gunpowder confetti of the pretend revolutionary distance.

My Diary: Feeling Nonplussed In The Fading Light Of A False Reality

Neither June or I‭ ‬went out.‭ ‬With the weather transformed into a line of just washed petticoats it was too wet to hold hands with the tree people even when the sacred grove opened out as if a mouth about to speak‭ ‬-‭ ‬I was quite pleased when it didn’t as I hadn’t bothered to learn my lines.‭ ‬I looked through the raindrops algorithmically changed to dragonfly eyes and watched the fortune cookie ladies and mop bucket gentlemen enter and exit the stage.‭ ‬As I stared into the almost infinity,‭ ‬June surrounded herself with a necklace of wild west wagons and spoke to a voice that had entered the room like a cartoon cloud‭ ‬-‭ ‬She said it was the past wrapped in the present and I said it was an angel trapped in a tar pit and subsequently threw myself down a well to retrieve the feather covered spindle.

My Diary: When Dinosaurs Discovered The Earth Was Extinct

I got up a bit earlier today,‭ ‬holding onto a liana that hung down from the sun forest canopy and swinging between the nodes where parallel worlds meet.‭ ‬I had a short spell as President Charlie Chaplin before June emerged from our nuclear submarine bed and told me to pull my trousers up.‭ ‬After this I donned a space suit designed for giant mice,‭ ‬punched the calendar in the face and surreptitiously added an entirely fictitious date‭ ‬As I did so a lady,‭ ‬who I had met a few years ago when she accidentally stroked me instead of the dog,‭ ‬walked past our front door with a small galaxy for a hat‭; ‬I asked if it was one of the Magellanic clouds and she pulled an unplugged electric guitar out of her handbag and fingered a C sharp minor chord.‭ ‬I pretended to listen but there was no sound.

My Diary: The Rainbow In My Back Pocket

June and I started the day in a fruit cake of conversation‭ (‬although it could have been a pudding‭)‬.‭ ‬After which I got up with a glove puppet on my head,‭ ‬nodding this to the postman puppet as he delivered the mail we didn’t want instead of what we did.‭ ‬He pulled on his strings and then went down the front path with a Viking long boat stuck in his back.‭ ‬I looked at this and then up at a giant saw cutting the cloud with a silver lining in half.‭ ‬Neither June or I had to go out and we pulled a pair of tights over the house before our neighbours went by with legs as long as stick insects.‭ ‬I spun round in my roundabout study while she came down the helter skelter in a room full of cannibals‭ ‬-‭ ‬I rescued her later with a corn dolly in my mouth.

My Diary: Palm Of My Hand In An Infinity

I climbed out of the alligator mouth dressed as a nurse from the Crimean War.‭ ‬June was wearing a hessian sack which had only recently been emptied of its contents on the amphitheatre floor and I stood on cinders that had fallen from the everyday dragon’s mouth.‭ ‬A voice that had issued from the corner of a room instead of a mouth slowly receded into the distance like a song than no one noticed until it had ended.‭ ‬I shut the door after June had shut her handbag and we sailed up the road on the back of passing stranger’s hand‭ ‬-‭ ‬its shadow made a goose shape flying into a seemingly infinite distance‭ (‬I still think infinity is just a CD without a hole in the middle‭)‬.‭ ‬When the snow geese had reached their destination they both picked up small bodies and exchanged large giggles.

My Diary: Happy Christmas To All!

June and I fell out of the silver skinned UFO moments before it crashed‭ ‬-‭ ‬the pilot was spirited away by the authorities although they always denied it afterwards.‭ ‬I tied up its vapour trail into a goblin shaped bow and got ready to go out by bathing in an old woman’s shoe and dressing in the grass box of an indoor lawnmower.‭ ‬June and I followed a present trail although we still got ourselves lost.‭ ‬We met tall and short people and our memories embraced.‭ ‬I then became one with the carpet and June became one with the ceiling‭ ‬-‭ ‬eventually sliding down the wall into an easy chair and laughing as baked bean can people were knocked over by a pangolin curled up into monosyllabic ball.‭ ‬I have a rule to always express myself in polysyllables and strung myself up like a handmade paper decoration.

My Diary: Opening My Suitcase And Discovering It Full Of Sand

I got up early,‭ ‬before June the body but after June the voice.‭ ‬I checked the garden quickly for pottery shards after the frost giant’s party during the night and then walked up the chimney pot road as introspective smoke‭; ‬the lady with the fluffy cat hat looking baffled by the miniature mountaineer climbing up my back‭ ‬-‭ ‬apparently he was trying an ascent of my unconquered North Face.‭ ‬I remembered to wave to a fragment of a person in the last house but one‭ (‬unfortunately that was the only fragment not looking‭)‬.‭ ‬I then found a pair of marching boots at the top of the road and climbed inside‭; ‬disembarking outside a pair of clapping gloves.‭ ‬Cold feet talked to cold hands and then came home with a solar flare in a paper bag and a warrior ostrich in a haversack.

My Diary: Dancing In My Werewolf Clothes

I started the day paper thin,‭ ‬adding layers as the morning progressed and the weather worsened.‭ ‬June went out in the pouring rain with shoes on her head and her raincoat in her bag while I stayed at home writing with gale force ink.‭ ‬After a photograph dinner‭ (‬a bush baby eating a grasshopper‭) ‬I noticed that the big black cloud in the loft had started to rain through the ceiling‭; ‬I telephoned the landlord‭ ‬-‭ ‬who was being painted in deck chair stripes in a room studiously modelled on a kangaroo’s pouch‭ ‬-‭ ‬and then telephoned June before she changed into a marsupial cardigan with very long sleeves.‭ ‬When she got home we both entered the placental vampire den with spoons in our mouths‭ (‬hers were silver‭) ‬and then had another photographic meal‭ (‬a grasshopper eating a bush baby‭)‬.

My Diary: The Ghost Of A Machine

June and I started the day in black and white before going out for a meal in full colour.‭ ‬In a restaurant of intersecting lines June and I surrounded ourselves with attractively patterned clouds.‭ ‬She thought vertically while I day dreamed in horizontal layers‭ ‬-‭ ‬the night dream archaeologist would later find the footprints of an early hominid in the lowest layer,‭ ‬as well the plastic casing of a transistor radio.‭ ‬As the luminous dust began to settle in the aborted launch pad room I told the waiter that my meal could foresee the future although in reality it could only remember the past.‭ ‬He later showed me a hole in the wall where something had entered the building which has never been found‭; ‬I emptied my pockets when I got home.