My Diary

I began the day riding on a smoking dragon and creating intricate patterns in the sky – June had gone out trailing a string of penny arcade machines behind her.  I parked my dragon in the garden I found among the clouds and took the Lady Eleanor tube to my studio.  Once inside the jellyfish walls I tried to find as many ways as possible to sit on the floor while cognisant flowers floated overhead.  Unfortunately I had to go out before any took root.

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My Diary

June and I went out early again; She had her eyes open, I had mine closed.  I came back as the rear part of a pantomime horse.  I fed the animals like Lady Godiva; the guinea pigs had hidden howitzers among their hay.  Before June returned wearing a suit of armour I hung from the wall with cat claws.  I stayed hanging high above the recently cleaned floor for a large part of the day.  A poet suddenly appeared in the evening after she had accidentally swallowed her poem.

My Diary

June and I went out early: She carried her papers and I carried a heavy weight.  I came home as the front of a pantomime horse and then went out into the garden trailing a feather boa (the feathers weren’t real).  After tending my Plasticine plants I sat on the nursery floor; the toy figures went by – later, I was distressed to learn that I was one of them.  When I came back from the Playdoh shop I opened a bottle of wine and climbed inside.  I noticed a gorilla and several chimpanzees peering in.

My Diary

The house was tied up under a giant tap (June had a bath tub for a head and I had a bidet (although I didn’t know what to do with it).  I sailed into the breakfast parlour using a cat as a sail.  Once back on dry land (using desert island type one a) I was able to draw dark black lines issuing from boxes.  I only found out later when in discussion with the zip maker that the boxes contained heads.  My favourite had a coin in its mouth – I put the coin in the meter and left.

My Diary

I took my weekly early dip in the country lake; the old man still resides on the island in the middle of the lake.  He had a fish as a door knocker and wet eels as decorations.  We fetched in the logs and talked to a dwarf who marched by (he said he was going to the front but I think he was actually coming back).  I came back in time to tie myself up, only breaking free to walk to work with an octopus in my top pocket.

My Diary

I woke with a red face in a bright red room.  My wife was a strong shade of green.  Between us we found a palette for the animals which happily share this space ship with us.  I waved to myself from orbit.  I had time in the capsule to paint; spreading both my wife and I on the canvas.  During the evening I listened to the music of the spheres while imagining a game of bowls played by skeletons – they looked up as the satellites crashed to Earth.

My Diary

I had a leisurely start to the day, sitting on a sofa which was speeding down the slopes of some vast mountain.  Once at the bottom, poppy and I walked a treadmill and I said good morning to plant face.  I moved floors on a flying chair and landed among the debris of a ruined temple – I pulled several carrot tops out of my hair before starting work.  I finished adding smiles to brick walls and went down the road to converse with a giant moorhen.