My Diary: The Behemoth In An Ice Cube

I tried to get back to sleep after waking with a big cat sat on my chest‭ (‬I think it was a mountain lion as it was wearing a square patterned shirt‭) ‬and finding the curtains resembled a hand maiden of Cleopatra cleaning out a commode.‭ ‬June had become a sizable section of the South Downs National Park with a picturesque formation of white clouds floating just above her head‭ ‬-‭ ‬she had always thought out loud in her sleep.‭ ‬I conjured up a scene for a play I will never write where a demon frantically searches for the stopcock after hell gets flooded and then decided to get up.‭ ‬A twenty millimetre cannon was attached to the top of my head and my fingers had been transformed into lasers as I went downstairs reciting the first words uttered by our earliest ancestor:‭ ‬apparently it was help‭!

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