As usual for a day that begins with a gargoyle balancing on the rim of a teacup I left the house early, an aerial pinned to my lapel and a television handkerchief in my pocket. I gave the man sat in an over ripe vegetable marrow my money and he spat out several numbers and a white dove of paper which I caught before I or it could fly away - I knew I wouldn’t go far but doves sometimes become peregrine falcons. After shopping in a blue whale carcass awaiting resurrection I boarded a long tongue and sprung back into a cavernous mouth. The chameleon was toasting a fire alarm and we sat down in a wind tunnel and made up words out of smoke. The lizard king left before I had climbed a tree but after a tree had climbed me. When it had reached the roof we knew everything was safe.