My Diary: Life Is Like A Basking Turtle

June took long strides to work while I shuffled to the springboard several hundred metres above the bath‭; ‬despite my best efforts I always miss the target and end up like a wind eroded mountain with little flags in the top from the days when climbing up was an achievement.‭ ‬I wasn’t able to walk the dog first thing as I was expecting a lady with a sharks mouth‭ (‬if she gets bored she bites her own leg off‭) ‬who collected a parcel that June had wrapped the night before‭ ‬-‭ ‬it was vaguely anthropomorphic,‭ ‬although with three arms and only one leg.‭ ‬Once she had gone the dog and I went to view the footprints that had appeared during the night along a previously unused path:‭ ‬I had a headdress made from cheap biros and she a television bent into the shape of a hybrid tea rose.

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