My Diary

Out early (killer whales were congregating on telephone wires singing).  I cut the wires between the trenches as the soldiers advanced.  Putting a doll in each pocket I caught the long bus home.  Tree branches were sticking out from under my Sunday Newspaper hat by the time I arrived.  When I opened the front door I was surprised to see a giant bird singing in the kitchen instead of my wife.  I fed her earthworms like a badger.

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My Diary

The gorillas and I went out for a drink but instead met the gardener putting haloes on his tomatoes – I pulled out a sauce bottle to see who could draw the fastest.  I lost and put another three belts round my head to keep my spirits up.  I found myself in a tropical forest with miniature kitchen sinks as earrings.  In the distance the ladders were continually changing into snakes and then back again.  I climbed a forked tongue.

My Diary

I didn’t sleep very well – several very large gorillas were shuffling about in the undergrowth.  I tried to remember their names but they had masks over their eyes.  I had to get out of bed riding a bicycle like the lone ranger.  As wheels followed a car down the lonely street I pulled on a liana and the light went out.  I felt better during the day which was sellotaped to my forehead when I drew whiskers on a balloon to see if it would bark.

My Diary

I had a relaxing morning (even though I had a pair of stepladders strapped to my back – I tried to climb up them but couldn’t)  I even had time to drop a coin down a well and record the splash.  Later, while waiting for the ghosts of old western stars to ride by I put on a pair of headphones and pressed a button whenever I heard a cry.  I ended the day more fed up than usual – spiders crawled down the walls removing the pictures as they did so.

My Diary

It was a nice day, clouds reclined on floral sofas as the trees turned.  I worked in the garden (after the rabbit had kicked a small planet out of solar orbit) and made a cairn under which the summer could be buried..  I ate several lunches and then stood still on the bow of a ship counting the albatrosses as they were wheeled by on hospital trolleys.  In the evening June descended by parachute as I took off my clothes and sat in the fridge.

My Diary

I found a pogo stick in the bed and hopped down stairs reciting a poem by Dylan Thomas.  All morning I had to sit on a giant cygnet while the bat people amused themselves.  I walked the hill to see June three times, each time holding a white piece of paper.  It wasn’t until I got home that I realised I hadn’t written anything on it.  The old seer said I was destined to be a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder, I pondered this remark all the way to the workplace.

My Diary

I amused myself with a magic carpet ride around the bedroom before going downstairs and throwing Neanderthal bones to the wild beasts.  I worked in an egg cup until early afternoon when the rain fell like laughing judges.  I glove puppeted my way home with my feet in separate oceans.  Later I talked with the green god while the evening undressed – I then undressed myself and crawled back up the tunnel where the light was still flickering.