I donned a suit and tie and then scrambled about in the mud by the garden pond, picking up each lily leaf in turn as if it was a telephone - the last caller hung up on me when I pronounced my name in a regional dialect of modern day Orangutan. Immediately after this a tree in our neighbour’s garden surprisingly stated that unborn children hide inside atomic nuclei and blasted off on the latest space mission. In a terrestrial response I took the dog out for walk, coming back after she had preened herself in a clump of goosegrass - she then went to man the barricades during the Paris Commune and I signed my initials in reverse on the Bourdon bell of the cathedral of Notre-Dame - we met up later as twin nuclei in a parenchymal plant cell: thus proving once and for all that all life is one.
Gerald's Rather Strange Diary 